By: Rebecca Richman
So the big day has finally arrived, for both you and your maid of honor and best man. For them, their best friend or sibling is getting married and they are serving the bride of groom in a place of honor and they too want everything to be perfect for you, including that nerve-wracking speech. As the bride and groom you can make things easier for them by scheduling their speech towards the beginning of the reception so that they don’t have to wait the entire evening to make it. Nerves tend to build over time and we’re sure you too want them to enjoy the evening.
For all of our maid/matrons of honor and best men, keep these tips in mind when making your speech!
- Plan plan plan: Don’t wait until the last minute to write your speech! You more than likely have been asked months in advance to participate in your friend’s big day so take the time to sit down and think about what you would like to say.
- Think about who you’re speaking to: You aren’t just speaking to the bride and groom, you’re speaking to the audience about this great couple an audience with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, co-workers, maybe even bosses. Keep what you say appropriate.
- Forming your speech: Begin by introducing yourself to the audience without necessarily starting with “for those of you who don’t know me”. Most people won’t know you, an alternative to start with is “Good evening Everyone, my name is _________ and I am the sister, brother, friend of the bride or groom”. Next, I always think it’s nice to thank the bride and groom for inviting you to be part of their special day and for bringing all of their friends and family together for the evening. A nice next step is to talk to everyone about a special (appropriate) memory you share with the couple allowing the audience a more personal glimpse at the couple or your relationship with them. Finally, wrap it up with a toast, make sure you are speaking and looking directly at them when you toast to their happy future.
- Don't write a novel: I know you could talk about your best friend for hours but please consider the guests and the chef cooking your delicious meal. Weddings have been timed to allow for courses to come out at just the right time and while we can always make adjustments when the timeline runs off course we can't accommodate for a 30 minute speech. You also want the guests to be listening and enjoying everything you have to say, not checking their watches to see when it will end.
- Practice, a lot: Practice makes perfect and it also makes you feel more comfortable, it can also lead to you memorizing your speech. We often see shaky papers when nerves get the best of the speech giver and you’re also more likely to lose your place when glancing back and forth from your paper. It’s absolutely okay though if you can’t memorize the speech, just keep your notecard handy and have a backup in case it gets lost.
- Some quick don’ts: It’s best not to mention any previous boyfriends of girlfriends, try not to curse, don’t drink too much before hand, never talk politics, and try to refrain from inside jokes (only the two of you will understand it which leads to a quiet and awkward room).
- Finally, enjoy yourself! This day only happens once for all of you, soak in the moment and enjoy toasting your best friend or sibling into a happy future!