Ok, now I’ve gone and gotten all French, fancy and stuffy on you…


I’m really not….but as a wedding consultant, the owner of The Queen of Hearts and a guy who hangs out with Peggy Post (Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette) people expect me to know stuff like …



What does RSVP actually mean?


Répondez s’il vous plait – French for PLEASE RESPOND!


Now that that is out of the way…. Seems like everybody I know in the wedding industry is blogging about or having problems with RSVP’s.


Either guests not responding or responding with information which makes no sense…


My only fear in writing this is that it will not get to the right people.


Brides reading this will only have been given notice that their friends and family will be just like everyone else…


Wedding professionals know this stuff already and it drives us all nuts too (so the brides are not alone).


My hope is that somewhere, some random soon to be wedding guests happens across my blog post somewhere on the internet and learns how they torture brides!


So, RSVP mean PLEASE RESPOND – not just respond if you’re coming or respond if you’re not coming (that would be the addition of the phrase – REGRETS ONLY)


The invitation industry has already made it easy on these people – they now have a little card, and all they have to do is fill-in the little blanks, put it in the little envelope which is already pre addresses and pre stamped.




AS a guest you are being invited to the biggest day of someone’s life cause the care about you! Could you take a few minutes and return the favor…


If it’s addressed to you as a single person – that’s how you respond…it’s not that they don’t want you to have a date and a good time… it’s because generally because of finances they have had to decide between you bringing some guy you met in the bar last night as your date or their cousin or co-worker!


If your invitation says “Mr. and Mrs.” – that’s who is invited! Not Mr.  & Mrs. AND three year old Johnny…Johnny may be cute, and love being the center of attention….but it’s not his day!


Get a baby sitter and go have a night out…and just because the brides nephew the ring bearer is being invited is no reason to have to bring Johnny…it’s not you decision…


The couple made a very long hard decision to have or not to have and if they based on family, and their wishes for the day want or can afford to have kids included…


PSA for all of those who have never been invited to a wedding…the little card comes back by the specified date – the bride and groom then log all the yes and no responses, as well as the entrée selection ( if necessary) and then 7-10 days before have to give a count to the caterer.


They then have to call all of you who don’t respond (not high on my list of things to do the week before my wedding!)



So if you don’t respond and decide to show up- they won’t have a seat or a meal for you!
That shows them how little you really care about them, especially after they thought enough about you to invite you.


And if you respond you are coming- and don’t show (especially if you got a better offer) they’ve dropped $75-$150+ for each of you- not to show- and they don’t get that back!


I know- I’m mean there are good reasons – I’m talking the” I got tickets to the Phillies game and decided to go there instead.”


Bottom line… someone you know has decided that of all the people they know that you are important enough to be invited to come and share the biggest day of their life with them…


Could you at least take the time to drop the card in the mail?